Be Kind to Yourself and The Rest Will Follow

In our industry, we are always trying to help others, placing ourselves into a “service” to others, filling roles for hiring managers, serving a candidate, or colleagues; but who is helping you? Are you taking care of your heart? Are you even asking for help?

Let’s face it, being a human can be hard! Making mistakes along the way is something every single human experiences. Despite this natural occurrence, people can be closed off, judgmental, or worse- making it challenging to feel valuable, successful, or possibly even respected. However, that doesn’t mean you should participate in their negativity by berating yourself or compare yourself to someone else’s success! We can all be our own worst enemy, and negative energy engulf our strengths.

Personally, I am a list builder, or I would prefer to be known- “goal setter’. Making lists helps me create my goals. Below are some examples of possible ways to start treating yourself with compassion, love, and intention. You- above everything and everyone else, deserve your own kindness, and the rest will follow.

Create a morning of positive energies

Start the day on a positive note. Recite your favorite affirmations, find quotes of your favorite heroes, or videotape yourself writing down your favorite daily affirmations like me. Go for a walk, listen to uplifting music- get creative!

Treat yourself

Make a date with yourself and stick with it. Engage in an activity that’s designed to make you feel good- play a sport, try a yoga or art class. Try planning it for more options. More of a homebody? Research Netflix shows to share with a good friend and make you happy.

Give your heart permission

Being alone doesn’t have to mean lonely; it’s incredibly beneficial to your heart. Solo time may make you more creative and can help you clear your mind. Experts also say spending time alone may help you be more productive. It’s time to start enjoying your own company.

Exercise the word “no.” (one of the hardest to practice)

It may be a two-letter word, but it holds power. Recruiters / Sourcers have the hardest time putting their needs first, whether you’re feeling burned out, saying no to an event you’re uninterested in or cutting toxic people out of your life. Knowing when to say no is the hard part because you know what you need to do, but being rejected by your industry as a negative person is the part we all want to avoid. Finding balance, and self-respect is what we need to start working on and ignoring the need to belong to some kind of tribe.

Try Active Meditation

Active meditation is several types of meditation that keeps your mind focus, but awake. My favorite form of the practice is focused on cultivating compassion. I have been practicing for over seven years and have found it to be one of the best things that have helped with my confidence, focus, and stress. Research shows it can improve emotional intelligence and decrease your stress response. In fact, it inspired me to co-authored a book called The Artful Journey To Your Soul, to share my knowledge and encouragement for a better us.

Attitude of Gratitude

Creating a grateful list could be the best ego booster and one that will guide you to provide your work-life balance that we all crave. Research shows that taking stock of what you’re grateful for can improve your well-being. When you focus on being grateful, you won’t have room for the negative.

Paying it Forward

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Pay it forward: Buy someone a coffee, create a handmade thank you card, or bring someone a treat and leave it on their desk. Expressing kindness, generosity toward others makes you happier, and happiness makes your heart grow three sizes, just ask the Grinch.

Give yourself a compliment

I know, how weird is that? Your heart and mind tend to reflect on the negatives, focusing on what isn’t working, or why you aren’t being acknowledged like others. Stop putting this negativity on yourself, because honestly, YOU ARE NOT, your reflection. By showing yourself kindness can be a great practice, I am not saying look in a mirror and make compliments, but you could practice something like: Are you a great listener? Are you a loyal friend? Those are the qualities that I am trying to say.

This has to be the hardest topic for me, and lately, I have been struggling with being kind to myself and I am hoping by writing this it will help anyone else who is also hard on themselves. Good luck!

 

Kay Kelison is a respected social media strategist and a principal sourcer who has been in the recruiting industry over fourteen years. She currently works as a Principal Researcher / Trainer for Zillow Group where she partners with both business and recruiting functions to build candidate pipelines, develop targeted sourcing plans, build and manage successful sourcing initiatives, and manage customer/partner expectations. Additionally, she is involved in the developing and managing diversity recruiting efforts through social networking platforms on websites including LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, etc. Kay is an open networker and encourages you to connect with her.

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