I take a look at someone who creates impressive artwork and top-notch speaker at SourceCon, and I look at my art and speaking skills and realize that I don’t come close to measuring up. In fact, I am a pretty lame presenter.
But wait a minute: it’s not a fair comparison. Just because I don’t measure up doesn’t mean I should get out of presenting at conferences, or that I should get depressed or jealous or resentful. Instead, if I looked at my strengths, expressing useful and honest career posts, I can see that I have a lot to offer, a lot to be happy about.
And that truth it’s so important – being able to look at your strengths and see your real value. It’s one of the keys to success, because, without this ability, you will self-sabotage, and won’t believe in yourself.
I wanted to talk about this issue and see if I can help someone to embrace their individuality, their value and encourage to find the confidence that we all need to step out our comfort zone and add to our growing community with diverse perspective!
I’ve found these useful tips on how to “Break the Habit of Comparing Yourself With Others.”
Social Comparisons. Most often we make these social comparisons without realizing we’re doing it. It’s a natural act, I guess, and as a result, it’s something that is done without us even knowing that we are doing it. My solution is to become conscious; bring these thoughts to the forefront of your consciousness by being aware of your triggers. Focus on these thoughts for a few days, it will get much easier with lots of practice, and soon it’ll be hard not to notice, and then you can correct with mindful kindness to yourself.
Stop It. As you become aware you’re making these comparisons, put yourself on hold. Don’t berate yourself or feel bad — take a deep breath and acknowledge the thought, and gently change focus on what makes you passionate, unique and just smile.
Thankful. Be thankful for what you have. By being thankful, and not focus on what you don’t. Makes things like how lucky you are to have what you have, to have the people in your life who care about you, to be able to share your passion, surround yourself with positive people who want to share with you and help build you up.
Embrace Your Strengths. Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, ask yourself what your strengths are. Celebrate them! Be proud of them! Don’t be a snob and boast about them, but feel good about them and use them to your best advantage and create a better community that everyone can enjoy.
Be OK. No one is perfect, especially intellectually, and if anyone disagrees, you better check yourself, but emotionally we seem to beat ourselves up if we don’t reach that perfection we tend to strive for. Come on; we aren’t meant to be perfect, after all, we would be boring if we were. I certainly am not, and I’ve learned to be OK with that. Sure, I keep trying to improve, but don’t try to look like that “perfect person.” If you look at it differently, that imperfection is what makes you who you are; you already are perfect and beautiful.
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Stop Putting Others Down. Sometimes we take “constructive criticism” way too far because of our egos which in return makes ourselves look bad. By, putting someone else down or pointing out faults of others for your benefit is destructive and not kind. This behavior seems to be very popular in the staffing industry, and It can form enemies when you could be forming friendships. In the end, this behavior could hurt your reputation and could lead to a very lonely path. Instead, try to support others in their success, celebrate with kindness, acknowledging will lead to more success on your part – KARMA.
Your Journey. Don’t focus on how you compare to others; life is not a competition. It’s a journey. In which we are all on a journey, to find discover, to become someone special, to learn, to grow. YOUR journey has nothing to do with how well other individuals are doing, or how they are succeeding. It has everything to do with what we want to be, and where we want to get there. That’s all you need to be concern about.
Learn to Accept. If you always want what others have, you will never have enough. You will constantly want more. It will be an endless cycle, and it will never lead to happiness and love. No matter how many laptops you buy, no matter how many tools you use, no matter how many hires you make, you’ll never have enough. Instead, learn to accept and realize that what you have is already enough. If you have a job, great team, great community, and people who respect you, you are great. You have enough. Anything you have over and above that, and let’s admit that all of us may have more than what I listed, is more than enough. Accept, and you’ll find contentment.
The following quotes may encourage you to stop comparing yourself to others and embrace your individuality uniqueness.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Eleanor Roosevelt